why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
