Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
