She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i think my mom watched the whole time
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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