i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
