she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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