dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
