Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
