Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
