Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
