Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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