Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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