I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize