my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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