How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
