After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
