My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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