If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
