With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
