hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
