How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Two words: blizzard sex
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
