How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
