I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
