There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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