At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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