So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I smell like Dick and happiness
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
