i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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