so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
