Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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