uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I think I died a long time ago.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
