Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
