I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
