apparently the secret to your success is patron
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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