yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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