You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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