Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
