I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
