it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
