I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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