Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
