why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I cut my penus on the lid.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
