Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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