you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
