STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
