I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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