piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
