your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I pour the whiskey from now on
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
