Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
