So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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