who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
