beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
