Define "chronic" masturbator.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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