Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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