You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize