Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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