oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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