sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
