he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
