Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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