from now on my penis is your penis
Buhtt sex?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
