you would pick up someone in the library
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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