Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Sext me about skeletons
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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