wrigley field is MILF paradise
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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