PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
