I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
