When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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