You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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