remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
