soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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