True but thats because hes a fetus.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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