i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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