What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
