Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I think i got beer on your cat.
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