He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
