I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
