It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize