Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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