What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize