Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
