TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
