he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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