Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize