despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize